It’s been a tough old winter one way or another, but thanks to flexible colleagues and a yard approach that’s kept horse and rider together as often as possible, Max and I have survived and are looking forward to making the most of the opportunities coming our way. We’ve made the best of it by working in-hand, riding, lungeing and doing stretches, and he looks well for it all, but I still haven’t learned to plait…
<p value="<amp-fit-text layout="fixed-height" min-font-size="6" max-font-size="72" height="80">Eventing has just begun for this year, and we have some really exciting training booked for April; there's one more week before I have to decide which BE show to enter first; tonight I booked us into a local Pony Club Hunter Trial for the end of May, so there's something in the diary at last.Eventing has just begun for this year, and we have some really exciting training booked for April; there’s one more week before I have to decide which BE show to enter first; tonight I booked us into a local Pony Club Hunter Trial for the end of May, so there’s something in the diary at last.
I’ve enjoyed having frequent opportunities to ride and the short timeslot has meant that I’ve been focussing on some very basic things, keeping things as varied as possible; this week I really felt that we’ve started to trust one another and that it will be easier to train more effectively now that we’re clicking as a partnership. As Kira, one of our brilliant coaches put it: “now the magic will happen” – we all need a bit of that right now.
Almost everything you read at the moment begins ‘in these unprecedented times…’ and they certainly are; everyone can remember a time when they couldn’t do what everyone was else was doing: FOMO (or Fear Of Missing Out) is what drives a lot of advertising now. In these unpr- frankly odd times, we’re all missing out: I’m not riding (but I know that Max is getting great care, lots of time in the field, and as much hay as he can eat), much less Eventing, and I’m not even allowed to go in to the Chelmsford Cathedral (where I work) to play the organ there.
It’s a good time to have a think about my basic priorities for riding and the drastically different year that Max and I will (eventually) have – perhaps our first Event will be Poplar Park after all! I’m enjoying Charlotte Dujardin’s autobiography – don’t get me wrong, I know just what the gulf between our riding is – and am going to read up on mindset improvement too; it’s all very inspiring stuff.
The chance to read and think, and listen to music more than usual has been good – as I’ve said before, don’t waste a crisis – and although I’m desperate to use this free time from work to get on and ride, I hope that the me that emerges at the end of this lockdown will be a more prepared, relaxed, and enthusiastic me. Do you think that this will change you? How are you coping day-to-day? I’d love to hear your thoughts and strategies for coping with all this time!
Supposedly a good way to start to pin down a habit rather than going for a big commitment straightaway, little and often seems a good way to get back to the blog.
It’s so easy to doubt the value of what you when you have no feedback, or when you’re at the intermediate stage that creative/learning people will recognise: there’s no obvious standout progress or things haven’t yet ‘clicked’. That doubt becomes corrosive and can take you into a spiral of despondency and bad results, but checking in with someone and hearing positive reinforcement makes all the difference.
I’m reminded of an organ teacher I really enjoyed learning with and whose methods were challenging (all good as far as I’m concerned) – they reckoned that five minutes in every practice session could be given over to something fun and would in fact be valuable even in such short doses. I certainly need to rediscover that in my organ practice!
Seeing Max little and often feels frustrating and often gives me serious doubt about the possibilities we have, but the wonderful feedback from our jumping lessons last week have reassured me that we’re on a good track and if it’s what we can manage then it’s a good use of our time after all. Watching a short video from a dressage trainer earlier gave me an idea (and the self-confidence to carry it out) to try with Max today and so we enjoyed a productive session like an island in the middle of a busy week.
Here’s our belated new year’s resolution then: little and often for the best progress we can manage. Anything else is a bonus!
Excuses, excuses… it’s quite fashionable to write off genuine challenges as excuses, saying that ‘if you really wanted to do X you’d find a way’ – maybe, but sometimes it just can’t happen. The upshot? Disillusionment, negative thoughts, a self-energising spiral that either stays circling on the flat or descends into nothing.
A quiet moment
Max moved homes at the end of November and found a very happy home where we could carry on with most of our winter work, except during the hard freeze before Christmas and the times I’ve found it increasingly difficult (or impossible) to get to the stables to work him.
Excuses? Maybe – that depends on your view. The answer? Making every session count, however infrequent; gearing the work towards maintenance of an older horse’s suppleness and way of going that means that when time allows his fitness can be brought into sharper focus as he’s still moving well.
Warmer days
Even so, it’s been hard (and some days impossible) to see the wisdom of keeping Max when he could be better served with another rider. Some ridden sessions have felt fine but no better – other times progress is visible. This past week has given me two opportunities to do what Max and I love to do best: jumping. And he’s still got it: the willingness, the energy, the love of picking his feet up off the ground- even in an unlovely shape once today…
Perhaps then, the time has been well spent even if it hasn’t been as plentiful as I’d have liked; perhaps I’ve been doing the right things after all. We’ve also been working on square halts and today, unprompted, Max produced some beautiful examples. Just in front of the dressage judge next time, eh? Also, he warmed up really well – long and low, just how you wish he’d do it every time instead of pointing his nose at the planes flying overhead…
It takes time – of course it does; horses take our time and teach us patience to give them more time so that they can reward us again and again for the time we give.
Reviewing our warm up session on Thursday
And the excuses? Call them that if you like, but that’s life, and how we respond to its challenges is what counts. Feeling more positive? Yes – and about time too.
Today was a struggle – Max seemed to have hidden his manners somewhere… still, everything is a learning experience and there were things to take away and no time was wasted: if we were going back to basics then no-stirrups it was!
Although it was frustrating when all I’d hoped to work on was some fairly basic things to smooth out our dressage (standing still after the halt, not turning into The Road Runner in Canter-Trot transitions, that kind of thing). As it was, halt was passable (maybe for a 6) and the immobility was hunting for a 4. If he wasn’t up for the work then I wasn’t going to waste a precious opportunity to sit in the saddle and learn something.
It’s a real privilege to sit on the back of a horse, even more so when it’s your own; when it’s difficult to find the time or reach the yard then every moment has to be appreciated doubly. Of course it should also be counted as a pleasure, like most activities where there’s capacity for learning but primarily is something you choose because you love it, so the frustration has to be channelled away.
Finally a quiet moment, watching a tractor.
B is for…? Well, as we didn’t quite have the productive session I’d planned but managed something good, I’ll settle for Bonus and hope that the Basics will be back at the weekend!
The opera-lovers may recognise the quotation (from Montagu Slater’s libretto for Peter Grimes, music by Benjamin Britten) and this post is slightly off-beam but a short reflection from horseback this morning.
Over the Thames and far away…
Max and I have had a quiet few months, punctuated by some really inspiring lessons, putting homework into practice and then the odd naff ride (bad/four feet off the ground/too short/whatever) and it’s felt sometimes like being a bad owner/rider because work has overwhelmed the schedule. None of that matters in the long run and some perspective always helps.
Lord of all he surveys…
I’ve said before how much I value the location of Max’s yard and the hacking which gives us amazing views of rolling landscape in this relatively* flat county – over the river to Kent is a heck of a view – especially when work keeps me on a short three-point line, but work has also involved a fun excursion into another part of England that I really love, over on the West side. Don’t get me wrong: I’m a Suffolk-Essex boy through and through and like Britten and his antihero Peter Grimes feel anchored here in East Anglia, but the chance to work on and perform ‘On Wenlock Edge’ a work for tenor, strings, and piano with poems by A E Housman has taken me across to the less coastal land of Bredon Hill and The Wrekin. Exploring the poetry that belongs to a landscape can reveal a lot about a person and their relationship to it as well as to the natural setting itself and the illuminating music by Ralph Vaughan Williams helps conjure those outer and inner landscapes well, especially the heat haze on Bredon Hill. * = get a bike out and see how flat it really isn’t…
St Mary’s church, Maldon
I’m looking forward to the end of choir term and a change of pace, and spending more time with Max and perhaps getting out around more of the Essex countryside! There are vague plans around competition and hopefully we’ll get to do some fun things; most gratifying is the feeling that despite the amount of work v the amount of time spent in the saddle, Max and I are really starting to pull together and it’s good to know that maybe it’s working out better than I think on the days when everything gets so much. Finding out that your plans have worked out when you thought that they hadn’t is the opposite of both ‘Peter Grimes’ and ‘On Wenlock Edge’ but for myself from an anxious moment on Wednesday morning fearing that it had all gone wrong to feeling in control and prepared after all is quite energising!
I’m looking forward to spending time on the piano this evening, making music with some very fine musicians (and after all it keeps Max in shoes and everything else), and exploring more landscapes: we’ll be sure to share the journeys here.
In my day job as a choir trainer I’m often trying to get people to unlock their talents with more confidence and self-belief: I know they can do it, so they should have the same level of confidence and so on. Of course it doesn’t work like that for everyone and when you’ve had something knock your confidence it can take a long time to regain it or even to trust the smallest instinct.
In November, Max and I were out hacking and he slipped and fell, ditching me on my right foot, causing some soft tissue damage that has very nearly cleared up thanks to an excellent physio. It really knocked my confidence and although Max seemed unhurt and has been happy enough to work since it was just something else to think about and undoubtedly caused a slow-down in our progress while I got back to comfort in the stirrups.
Some uninvited personal comments from a well-meaning [I think] individual only served to undermine the confidence that I was regaining and it has taken some time to put them behind me, but they are there now, firmly stowed away under ‘experience’. In February I took Max out for some schooling over showjumps and xc fences and while the first part was wild and frustrating, the latter was more encouraging: even objective low-key comments were of more help and use than the unpleasantness mentioned earlier and slowly we’ve started to find our feet again and despite feeling like our year has started in a downbeat way, just plugging away and taking time to note progress has made a huge difference.
So is there a trick to finding your confidence? Many people would say so but we’re all different and for me it’s been an opportunity to take stock and learn to receive encouraging words from instructors, the saddle fitter, the farrier, staff and fellow liveries and to take compliments for what they are; the online XC Academy run by Lucinda Green and Rachael Faulkner is the most superb environment to learn, discuss, gain inspiration from the guest speakers, and all in the most supportive environment. Thanks to everyone for their challenge and support – it’s made a big difference to my perception of how we’re doing. Not a quick cure, and no easy trick, but definitely a treat.
‘O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!’ Robert Burns
Showing up is a big part of success, apparently, and I have found it difficult to find my motivation over the last month. However, today was a good day: Max and I had a good play over some small jumps to get our eyes back in before we go off for training in a week or so’s time; he seems not to have lost his love of jumping, nor his ability to fling off his ear guard from under the bridle.
Max surveying the view towards Tilbury
I have to admit to finding it difficult to be my own teacher – even more so being my own pupil: always overthinking and having three answers where one is what’s needed. Being without regular lessons has forced me, though, to think about what progress I feel we’re making: is something easier than it was before? Can I now understand what Max is telling me if I ask him to do something he finds harder on one rein than another? We certainly don’t have all the answers but I’m starting to get the hang of the questions.
Whether you prefer to stay on the ground or leap up in the air, showing up really does make the difference between wondering and finding out.
I enjoyed a good afternoon with Max today – I needed to remove the pressure of a timetable and ended up having a few laughs with people on the yard and then a good hack. After a quiet and slightly frustrated feeling at the start of the year, I got some energy back with an informal LGXC Zoom on Monday and feel all the better for reconnecting with Max in a more relaxed way today, following some quiet inhand work on Monday. Although the initial British Eventing schedule isn’t looking very promising for us, I’m keeping an eye on the more exciting things that we might do this year and look forward sharing them through this blog and social media!
Serious sunshine today!
The road is there for us to share and I hope that the introduction of some new parts to the Highway Code might help raise awareness of riders and horses on our country roads – after a particularly sad incident in West Essex at the weekend it’s to be hoped. Today’s hack featured some very considerate drivers, most of all the driver of a grabber truck who not only cleared our road but switched on his lights and kept the way clear for us from other traffic. Here’s to more like him and fewer like the ones we won’t mention!
What a year… I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogging front and it’s certainly something I intend to attend to in the new year, but it’s quite representative of the year as a whole!
After a slow reopening to Eventing in 2020, 2021 had some of the same issues and also the added complication for me of fixtures previously held on Saturdays being moved to Sundays in term time, putting them out of our reach; this put all our efforts into the summer holiday and it didn’t prove a very satisfying year – finally towards the end of the season Max went lame and that ruled us out of training and further competition. At the very least we’ve still managed clear round showjumping so the summer wasn’t totally without fun and success.
Where I have found fun and satisfaction has been in the Eventing world: getting involved with the Lucinda Green XC Academy and spending two glorious* days training with Lucinda in April really put some steel in my spine and gave me a lot of inspiration (* the training was glorious and fun, the weather was foul!); fence judging at Little Downham and watching our best riders go past was its own special and inspiriting experience; enjoying the Olympics, the GBR medals & all the light that brought to the world was something we could all share; a visit to Andrew Hoy’s yard in October helped me face down an unsatisfying season in terrific company (two- and four-legged) and the sense of community around the table with Andrew, his family and friends underlined why we do what we do and how we can enjoy it even when it’s not all roses (or rosettes or whatever).
On the organist front it’s been an extraordinarily busy year, picking things up after lockdowns and online training with singers and gradual reintroduction of live performance; the tapering of a higher workload and end of the Eventing season proved a bit of a pinch point, finally culminating in the rampant march of Covid through the Cathedral choirs, taking me off work the day before Christmas Eve – no Eventing, no organist!
Looking back there have been wonderful things: beginning to learn Swedish has put me in the learner’s chair in another discipline and that has also opened up a world of cultural things that I was beginning to explore – as with most things in life it’s the knock-on event that can be so valuable: the conversation on culture and life with a Swedish woman at a Christmas market, meeting high-ups in the equestrian world and feeling as though you’re reconnecting with old friends, learning to make the most of having only four singers all of a sudden, making new friends and business relationships: it certainly hasn’t been a dull year and I’m enormously grateful to everyone who has supported, cajoled, encouraged and prompted me, or just refused to let me sit still. For all the social media conversations, the pub chats, the post-Zoom meetings – thank you. Let’s see what 2022 has in store, but we’ll face it together and may you have some calm and comfort if you need it, excitement and anything else you might want.
So little done? It certainly seems that way in some respects: it’s May already and the Eventing season is now underway. Max and I are booked in to a local Hunter Trial at the end of this month and aim to be at our first BE event in June. How have we been filling the time up until now?
It’s been one of immense learning and getting out of my comfort zone, including two superb days under the legendary eye of Lucinda Green, from whom there is more to be learned than a lifetime allows but her online XC academy has been a godsend, offering video learning, advice and inspirational chats with eventing legends, which have been relevant to work-related things too.
Getting ready to head up to Berwick Farm for XC training with Lucinda Green
I’ve spent some time thinking about my mindset and how that can be developed to enhance my confidence onboard and out there, and just by doing more I’m gaining more confidence and building that all-important relationship with Max. We’re enjoying the fun of trying new bits of kit as well (but only as the riding is improving – I know *that* rhyme and won’t fall for it!)
We took part in an UA dressage competition at the yard, our first riding a BD test, and came away with a creditable 70% for 4th place – high-scoring class!!
This all comes against the background of the pandemic in its latest stages and all the gradual reopening that that has allowed and of course it’s meant that there’s more work to balance around riding (watch this space for an exciting feature about how it all fits together) and then there’s been the awful weather… That said, I’ve wanted this for so long I’m prepared to do what it takes to succeed; even if we’ve not achieved a vast amount yet this year, as a good and influential equestrian influencer – the term really applies to this person – told me, “at least you’re showing up”. There’s so much to do; I’m excited to have it in prospect and to be sharing the next stage of our journey with you: stay posted!
The Eventing Organist 